Tuesday Tips
“With respect …”
Have you noticed that, whenever someone says ‘with respect…’, they follow it with something disrespectful?
Or when, in response to asking someone for help, they reply with ‘Sure, it’s the least I can do’. Charming. Couldn’t they do more than the minimum possible?
Or, when you tell someone you’ve lost something, and they helpfully say “How frustrating. And it will be in the last place that you look”. Of course it will. You’re hardly going to find it, and then think “Right, I’ll now go and check if it’s in the kitchen”.
Words and phrases we hear every day can mean very different things to the sender than the receiver…
When people give unsolicited feedback, they think ‘this will help you’…
… but the receiver can think ‘you’re telling me for your benefit, not mine’
When presenters say ‘summary’, they think ‘here’s a pithy reminder of my salient points’…
…but audiences can think ‘great – he’s nearly finished. I’ll just wait for him to repeat himself in this summary (which I’m not listening to because I’m packing up), then I can do the next thing in the diary’
When a salesperson says ‘we were founded in 1922′, they think ‘we’re established, robust, safe’…
… but customers can think ‘so, you’re old’
When people title communications ‘update’ and ‘FYI’, they think ‘this will inform them’…
… but the receiver can think ‘boring… and what am I supposed to do with this info?’
It’s hard for you to second guess how people might misunderstand your communication – after all, you wrote it so it makes perfect sense to you. So, it’s always worth…
Action point
… for important communications, show them to someone else first – someone who’s opinion you trust, and who knows your intended audience. Ask what they think is good, doesn’t work, is confusing etc, and make any resulting changes.
by Andy Bounds - andy@andybounds.com
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